I LOVE GWENDA. PERIOD.

Man, that girl is good. She's such an awesome friend I don't know how to thank her for all that she's done for me, no matter if she's in the Netherlands and I in Singapore.

And, don't take that the wrong way: like she said to me, we can tell each other we love each other, without any of us needing to even think it's sexual-love instead of friendship-love.

There are few I'd consider friends, few whom I'll allow to push my buttons, few whom I'll sacrifice many things for.

She's one of them.

Small little things I won't have any others doing, I'll allow it to friends (think Grace, YP, Gwen, Ysi, Jerry).

Things like saying things that hurt me, but are good for me, I allow only to friends. I've made it PERFECTLY clear who they are, and they know. Friends don't have to be careful around me: they can be themselves. But with respect. It goes both ways.

Gwen was not careful. But she has the right given to her not to be. And I took absolutely no offense at that.

On that note, I absolutely refuse to answer any calls to my mobile after 9.30pm unless it's honest-to-God an emergency. This rule applies to all (even group-mates) but the few mentioned above: they can call me anytime. Text me if you want; call, and I'll cancel it. I'm getting really pissed about being disturbed in my sleep almost everynight.

Just last night, I was awakened by a call at around 11.30pm. What's the deal with me is that when I sleep, and I don't tell anyone to wake me up/someone wakes me up prematurely, what they will get from me is pure animal reactions. When I sleep, I go into animal-mode. Mess with me, and one messes with the risk of me literally growling/snarling at you, or even ripping your throat out with my teeth.

I go into predator/hunter mode when I sleep. Don't test me, not even through the mobile. Because what you're likely to get is me getting even with you the next day.

Because of what happened last night, my rage rose so that Dragon was snarling and twining about and roaring and spewing fire and flames. I had to get out of bed, went off to the bathroom, and start hitting the walls till my arms throbbed and I felt enough pain for my rage to be controlled, before I could go back to sleep.

Yes, animal instincts. And this hasn't happened only once. I know myself.

Try waking a polar bear/black bear/any sort of bear out from its slumber prematurely and it will swipe at you with its claws so that your head rolls off. I'll rip your throat out with my teeth.

I've growled at my young cousins for that; I've snarled at my mom for that; I have almost-attacked my domestic helper for that.

DON'T--TEST--ME.