I find myself a changed person. Not totally, but there are things obvious to me, especially in my attitude and character.

In the past, even with the anger, I was more passive than not. I'd prefer to walk away from a situation than flare it up, most probably because I think too much about the consequences. There are always two sides, or even more than two sides, to a story. I'm no one noble, but I use to think pretty much for other people.

That was before my repressed rage started demanding to make itself known. I won't say that Asakura caused it, because it would be incorrect. However, his rage influenced my own. And I will say that the fault, if any, is partly my own, because if I had no rage, I wouldn't have been so heavily-influenced.

*shrugs*

Now...random strangers (okay, not so random, but still...) who pisses me off treads on hairline-thickness of mantle floating on magma. But I guess that even though I've grown more violent, I'll still think about the other side of all two-dimensional stuff (not just a coin) and see if it's justified.

And I'm rambling like heck.

Met up with pack yesterday. T taught us how to ground ourselves. Interesting imagery used in that one. I've done simple meditation before, but nothing as in-depth as I learnt. Or. kept complaining about flies. *rolls eyes* And I just found that I like the scent of wood moss. Very earthy.

Seems as if this is a season for change. So many friends I know are changing, inside, deeper than just in character...more...spiritual, if you will. Ysi's finding the strength to getting help; Elbie's learning how to deal with emotional pain more; bub's just...lovestruck (lol); me? Currently stuck in tabula rasa mode, but stronger, darker, gritter, more violent...re-learning my old ways of darkness, mental/emotional strength, re-learning from Batman, Riddick, Asakura.

On that note, my bonds have quietened down. All except for Asakura, but then, he isn't my bond...I think. Riddick and I are still not talking; Ren and Tezuka just waiting patiently; Dream's somewhere; Jas and John already know my 'season' for talking; Batman...he behaves like my dad, 'nuff said.

School's starting tomorrow. I'll be working on alternate weekends. Need strength. Gonna find strength. In darkness. Want to confront my fears in the darkness, let the monsters come as they will. Will sit in the shadows and wait for them to come.

"You don't know fear half as well as it knows you." --Batman.

I'm learning to know it.

Oh, found out that playing with Death is still fun. My driving is...an adventure, to say the least. I think I should suggest my instructor buy at least 3 insurance policies, because I always scare him to almost-death and all, when I'm not even afraid myself. Lol.

*glances upawrds* Hm...random crap. Interesting...