I've got absolutely no idea why, but these few days, I've been feeling extremely, extremely tired. My body feels like it's crashing, my mind shutting down, but I'm still fighting against the exhaustion--I've got work. can't afford to fall sick.

Well, I can...get so sick and then stop going to work, and then tell them I wanna quit. Heh.
Head feels very heavy; eyes are sluggish, teary. Shoulder blades ache. Spirit tired, pained.

Need reprieve from life, not from death.

Sleep does no good. I get too many dreams...Morpheus, what the heck have you been doing in the Dreaming?

Laughter doesn't help. It makes things worse--makes me remember what I've lost.

Combination of physical and esoteric stuff taking their toll on me. Maybe need somewhere that's neither death nor life, and just rest there for a few months, a few years. Get away from everything, everyone, even my bonds.

Pack helps sometimes, just being with them, especially mom. She always listens to my rambles, gives me good advice, or generally points me in a direction and tells me I might find something there. Brings me some degree of comfort, especially just planning and thinking about the pack day. But ultimately, everything must come from within.

Healing must come from inside.

And my inside ain't healing. New wounds are being built upon old scars thought to be healed.

"Past wounds healed by present injury."--LJ