Weird. Something happened for less than a fraction of a second last night which touched me greatly, and which gave me renewed strength.

I'm a writer, and my imagination is very hyper-active. Perhaps there aren't any monsters in the world, but the mind sure can play tricks on anyone to create fear there.

So, I was lying in bed, pulling the blanket up till my chin, lying there, watching the darkness. Fear filled me for a few minutes before I decided that that was it. Fuck fear.

I called up what represented me, what I was made of...my nature, my soul. I pictured the souls of Riddick/John Iron, of an eagle, and of a wolf entering me, because, 1) John/Riddick are the ones I follow the most nowadays; 2) I don't believe I'm entirely human (Otherkin), and my not-human sides are ones of an eagle and a wolf.

The fierce eyes of the eagle filled my whole mind, and its nature of a predator filled me till the fear was pushed back. But for last night, it was the soul of the wolf that touched mine and gave me its strength and nature.

I had already fallen half-asleep...or well...perhaps I was so drawn into my own world of animality that I was only semi-conscious, in a sense. All I knew was that I was at once feeling as if I drifted between two worlds with only the most vague of consciousness, and as if I was immensely sensitive and aware of this other world that was filled with plains and tall grasses, and winds that blew chilly and refreshing, and tall trees, and distant grey mountains...

I gave a snarl into the darkness that was so much like a wolf's snarl/rumble/growl that it took the human part of my mind a second or two to process it and snap back to full consciousness. As my eyes focused back on the darkness of my room, I realized that I had snarled a wolf's snarl, and right at the exact moment when my consciousness snapped back into my mind, I felt this light brush of a soul...a nature across mine. Took me another moment to recognize it, and I was instantly refreshed, re-filled with courage, and extremely touched.

Just another working of my mind? Perhaps, because, what is reality but how we perceive it, right? You perspective of right may not be mine; what's real to you may not be to me. However, what you believe in is extremely real to you, and mine to me. So...yes, perhaps it's my mind.
Or, perhaps (and I totally agree with this), there are stranger things happening in the world than we normal humans ever know about. Perhaps because I'm more open to these sorts of beliefs that these are happening to me.

Or I may just be delusional.

I'll take that either way. It hasn't been proven or whatever, so, okay, this happened to me. I won't say whether it's delusion, or real, but that it touched me and gave me strength.
I am John. I am eagle. And I am wolf.

Perhaps I may be right after all and I may not even be human. *shrugs* Who knows. I know two Old Souls, a few Star Children, some Walk-Ins, and many other Otherkins.

Ah well...